I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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