Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My ATM looks so different sober.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
