i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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