Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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