3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Quick, to the slutcave!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
did you just send me my own nude
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
