I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
