Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
