Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
