I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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