I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
