Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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