I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
