i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize