we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
