I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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