they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize