none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please come you make the beer taste better
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
