quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
