Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
