im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How naked do you want me to be?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
