So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize