how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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