i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
