That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He felt like a one man threesome
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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