I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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