I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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