I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
