His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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