I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
