They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
