we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
