the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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