my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His hands were made for my vagina.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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