I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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