fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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