so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have fence marks all over my body
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
