Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
