I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
40s are totally the cure
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
