I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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