new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
