I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
