i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
