After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
