it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize