So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
