no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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