she looked like the before picture.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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