So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
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