Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
