I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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