Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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