I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
