i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
