The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
