ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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