Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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