We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
