I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
