we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize